About two weeks ago a friend of mine told me that I got off to a good start on my blog. Keep writing, he said. This is my first post since. I'm weird like that. I need to be given feedback to stay motivated and feel like I'm doing something meaningful, yet as soon as I get some praise I shut down. I don't know why. This aspect of my psyche irritates the hell out of me. But, as a human, dichotomy is part of my nature, right?
According to Sharon Jeffers, in her book Cards of Destiny (http://www.starofthemagi.com/birthday.html), I tend to thrive on discipline, something I've been lacking for sometime. I haven't felt at ease for as long as I can remember. I think, maybe a bit in vain, this is the month/semester/year I'm going to get my shit together. We'll see. 'Tis the season of broken self-made promises.
This post isn't going how I envisioned it. Shit. Then again, that's how most of my writing goes. I have so much to say that I usually end up saying nothing!
I got so much to do, so much to say
gotta find a way
to let it out, get it out
soundin' like a man without a plan
runnin' at the mouth
That rhyme's so old. I wrote it when I lived in Green Bay in '04. The notebook that contains it has been haunting me for about a year now. I just don't know what to do with it. Maybe this semester's poetry writing class will help me figure it out.
School started on Monday-- I've got a pretty full schedule. I had 18 credits, but I've whittled my load down to 16. I ditched my official obligation to the Mirror (LC's school paper) although I plan to contribute as a freelancer. I've also trimmed the Spectrum (the year-disc)from my schedule. Now I'm only taking: "The Novel" (come to find out it's LC's highest level Lit class, ENG 499--FUCK!), Poetry Writing, Advanced Fiction, Adobe In-Design (learning print layout design), Oral History (learning how to research, interview, write up, and present findings on people's pasts), and a one credit Independent Study which should help hone my profile writing ability. I hope I haven't pulled a "Ross" by taking on more than I can manage. There is just SOOOOO much to learn and experience! I'm going to need discipline more than ever this semester...
Wish me luck!
On another note I pick Rachal up from Chi-Town Thursday night! I can't wait to see her. It'll have been a month and three days. Yahowzah. I want my baby back...